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2001
1st April (am) - David and the suffering of grief
2 Samuel 1

I have just completed the biography of Jonathan Edwards, the world record holder and Olympic gold medalist in the Triple Jump event. It is a fascinating story of the joys and struggles of this famous Christian and athlete. If it were only a story about the successes, then it would be an incomplete story. It is only a complete story because it deals with the sturggles of Jonathan Edward's life as well as the victories. It is only a complete story because we are given an insight into the difficult questions Edward's had to face as a Christian in such a public role. If you were to ask the person on the street what they knew about Jonathan Edwards, they would probably say, triple jumper, world record holder, Olympic gold medalist and possibly Christian.

Likewise, if you ask the person on the street what they knew about the life of David, they would probably say, slayer of giants, king, adulterer. It is easy to remember the memorable bits of a persons life, because they are the bits which are newsworthy. But the story would be incomplete. We have been learning about the life of David over recent weeks. We come to a pivotal part in his life this morning, but probably not the best known part of David's life: the demise of Saul and therefore the way being opened up for David to become king. And it would be easy to jump from one to the other without pausing at 2 Samuel 1 as David deals with his grief over the deaths of Saul and Jonathan and the situation in which Israel found herself.
It would be easy to skip over this piece of the story because it deals with a subject we don't like to talk about too much. Why? Death is still an uncomfortable subject for many people. Grief is a subject we gladly avoid lest we upset or cause anxiety for someone. Yet it is right to deal with it, because the Scripture deals with it. The advantage of teaching on the life of David, is that every once in a while, you are forced to deal with a difficult issue, for in not dealing with it, the story, the story of our life, is rendered incomplete.

So we come to this pivotal point in David's life, and in the life of the people of Israel. It is important we have both in view. In 1 Samuel 31, we are left with a dismal picture. Saul's sons were killed in battle, but Saul rather than being killed by the Philistines, fell on his sword and killed himself. The Philistines post the headless corpse of Saul to the wall of Beth-Shan, a public declaration of the Philistine victory over the armies of Israel, over the armies of the Lord. The situation could not be worse. Here is the kingdom of God enduring one failure after another. Israel scattered like sheep without a shepherd. Yet, God in his sovereignty, who looks on the heart, has chosen a shepherd for these scattered sheep. In the hills and valleys of northern Israel, things are dismal, but its not what the human eye sees ... It is into this context that the scene at the beginning of 2 Samuel switches back to David in Ziklag, where a messenger brings to him news concerning Saul and the armies of Israel. This chapter falls neatly into two parts. I wish to offer brief comments about the first part, which was 'bad news' and then to focus our thoughts primarily on David's lament for Saul and Jonathan, and the nation, which is 'good grief'.

BAD NEWS! Back in Ziklag, a messenger arrives, clothes torn and dust on his head. The news is bad, Jonathan and Saul are dead, the Israelite armies have been routed by the Philistines. Somehow this Amalekite messenger acquired proof of his news. David pressed him further, and sensing a chance to win favour with David, the messenger proceeds to tell David that he was the one who killed Saul. Right away we are alerted to a problem. The story told us that Saul killed himself. The Amalekite was a liar! There was no truth in him, only selfish ambition.

David's dealing of the messenger is delayed by his response to the bad news. David and his men took hold of their clothes and tore them. They mourned, wept and fasted till evening, for Saul and Jonathan, for the army of the Lord and the house of Israel. There was an outburst of grief, not just for Saul and Jonathan but also for the devastation in which God's people found themselves.

Only after that did David deal with the Amalekite. There was no rejoicing over the death of Saul. He was the Lord's anointed and how dare this Amalekite raise a sword against the Lord's anointed? David has him executed on the spot, for the Amalekite's, yes a liar, but his still story testified against him. David had more than one opportunity to kill Saul, but he would not, because of who he was, the king, the Lord's anointed. David proved that he would do nothing to displease the Lord.

Let me ask you three questions in response to this very brief look at the bad news David received: Is there only truth in us? Do we ever earnestly grieve over the desperate situation of God's people? Is our over-riding concern in life to honor the King of Heaven? Three excellent questions for our new communicants this morning, as they are for every Christian person gathered in this building today. 'Bad news' and ...

GOOD GRIEF! Is there such a thing as good grieving? To answer yes, would suggest that there is also such a thing as bad grieving. David grieved over the death of Saul and Jonathan. He grieved over the desperate predicament of God's people. Grief is not a momentary emotional upheavel. It remains, it lingers with us. Therefore we have to deal with it. David dealt with his grief by composing a lament. David's lament provides a vehicle by which he and Israel can continue their personal and collective mourning.

But we must be careful, because in composing this lament, David is not giving us the definitive word on dealing with grief. This is not the latest 'how to' seminar on 'grief'. David is not idolizing Jonathan and Saul, he is simply dealing with their deaths and the current situation of God's people. There are four aspects to David's 'good grieving' I wish for us to consider this morning:

Grieving and Discipline (v 17) David's lament is different from the initial outburst of grief which accompanied the hearing of the bad news. The initial outpouring of grief in the first part of the chapter, was full of emotion. But David's lament was a considered and thought-filled response to what has happened. A lament is no less sorrowful or sincere. It is simply a vehicle for the mind as well as the emotions. This is reflective grief, which is an essential part of the grieving process. The lament invites us to express our grief in words that convey our anguish, in images that picture our despair, in written prayers that verbalize despondency.

Sometimes in the church we can be impatient with grief. I know that I can be. Grief is not just dealt with by emotional outbursts, but also through reflection. David wanted himself and the people of Israel to reflect on the life and death of Saul and Jonathan, and he wanted the people to reflect on the demise of God's kingdom, the kingdom of Israel, which was, in effect an associated death. David's lament is a disciplined approach to grief, whereby every emotion can be carefully considered and every word carefully chosen.

Grief and Disgrace (v20-21)

David's expressions in his lament do not just centre on his relationship with Jonathan, or his view of Saul. In the situation Israel found themselves after the defeat by the Philistines, there was much need for national grief. David wishes that the people of Philistine would hear nothing of the demise of Israel. This is a forlorn hope, for in the aftermath of Saul's death, the word is spread that Israel has been defeated. There will be rejoicing among the daughters of the Philistines. They will not just be mocking the armies of Israel, but also the God of Israel. For as David and every Israelite knows, Israel's shame is not just a military one but also a religious one. And why should the armies of Israel have this lament ringing in their ears? David wants them to be deeply stirred and moved, for the next time. The nation of Israel was in disgrace. David wanted the people to remember the past, not live in it. In Israel today, new recruits into the army, swear their oath of allegiance on Masada, the fortress that was breached by the Roman armies, in AD72-73. What is the point? Masada, symbolising the nation of Israel, shall not fall again.

The principle exists for us today. Are we lamenting over the tragic state of the church in the world? Are we lamenting over the mocking and ridicule of the name of God in N. Ireland today? Are we lamenting over the rejection of Jesus Christ in our land today? We should be, and we should be on our knees seeking the Lord God himself in prayer. We should be, but I fear we are not. St. Patrick's day should be the saddest day of the year. Why? Because he who brought the good news of Jesus Christ to this land, is now the same land which is rejecting the only hope there is for this island, Jesus Christ, the way, the truth and the life. We are too comfortable, we like the easy life, we get upset when we are personally aggrieved, we lack the same emotional upheavel when God is aggrieved. Should it not be that the tragic state of God's people across the world, not stir us to seek their restoration, to cry out to the Father?

Grief and Gratitude (v22-23)

David's thoughts in his lament turn to Saul and Jonathan. These verses are descriptive of Saul and Jonathan. It may come as a surprise to us that David chose to say anything good about Saul at all. In grief, it is possible to give thanks and show our appreciation. David chose to deal with God's grace toward Saul rather than Sauls' hate toward David. So David expresses his gratitude and appreciation for Saul and Jonathan. They were valiant warriors, but David's appreciation and gratitude does not centre on their military prowess, but rather on their personal character: Saul and Jonathan - in life they were loved and gracious, and in death they were not parted. Father and son, loyal to each other till the end. This is how David wants both himself and the people of Israel to remember their king. David's gratitude highlights Jonathan's faithfulness to his calling, even when that calling was unrewarded and, in this world's terms, hopeless.

It was not tragic that Jonathan laid aside a kingdom he could not have, for a kingdom he could not lose. There is nothing tragic about remaining faithful to the calling God has assigned to us. It may not be glamorous, it may even be difficult. David gave thanks for one who sought nothing less than the honor of his king. What will we be remembered for? Will there be an appreciation of our life, and what will it consist of? Such considerations ought to haunt in a positive way, every disciple of Jesus Christ.

Grief and Love (v25-26) We move to the climax of David's lament. He instructs the daughters of Israel to weep for Saul, while he, himself turns to weep for Jonathan. This lament of David's is both corporate and personal. In the midst of the devastation of Israel, David grieves deeply for a friend, a friend whose love to him was better than that of women, a friendship based not on sexuality but rather on fidelty. Jonathan's epitaph could read, 'I will be second' and it epitomized his whole approach to life. David has lost the friend par excellence. Matthew Henry, commenting on these verses states, The more we love the more we grieve. Sorrow will be hardest where love is deepest. This is David's experience: I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Jonathan is among the mighty that have fallen, but he who has fallen in the battle-field is also David's friend.

So David's lament teaches us, that in our grief, we are invited to express our deepest feelings about the one who has fallen.

David's lament. A careful, considered, expression of the events surrounding the death of Saul and Jonathan, and the defeat of Israel by the Philistines. David assumes the role of interpreter of events to the people. This is how he wants the people of Israel to see things. He does not want them to be under any delusion about the state of affairs. He wants them to grieve over their current predicament, and to grieve over the death of the king and his son. His lament would find its appropriate place in the memories of the people. And yet I would say that David would not have wanted the people to wallow in the past, to wallow in their grief. Their grief would remain, but the future called them. David's lament marked the end of Saul's reign, but it also marked the beginning of David's reign as king.

The difficulty about David's lament, is that it is not about one thing. There is deep personal grief, over the death of a beloved friend. Perhaps we can only truly identify with such grief, if we have grieved deeply because we have loved deeply.

And then there is the grief, the lament for the devastating predicament of God's people. Every Christian person here today, ought to be able to enter into this grief. For in the society in which we live, the name of God is rarely honored, the enemies of God seem to have the upper hand, the crumbling church buildings we see in many towns are symbolic of the crumbling spiritual life of the nation. Does this not move us to tears? Does this not cause us to weep? We are not far removed from the situation at the close of Saul's life, therefore I leave you with one text, from 2 Chronicles 714: if my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

AMEN!